Why is love not enough to hold a marriage together? I know, I know some of you die hard kids are out there reading this saying that love is enough. I would have said that to until at my meeting tonight that my Pastor told me and my girlfriend that love was not enough, kids are not enough, money is not enough, and looks are not enough.
Lets start with looks. Looks change. You don't know what your husband or wife will look like in 10,15, or 20 years. Not only that but has much has we shouldn't say this....You can always find some one who you think is prettier. Yeah thats true. If you are with someone over time you begin to forget why you were so attracted to them. Looks change and you perception of how people look changes.
Money is not enough. Money comes and goes. You have ups and downs. Some people split up because they have too much money. Some split up because they don't have enough. Money has been proven top be one of the biggest reasons for a divorce.
Are kids enough? No not in anyway. How many time have you heard it said,"If not for the kids I would leave him/her!"? I know of one of my friends that says it all the time. If kids were enough then people wouldn't say that, because they wouldn't think that. Once the kids leave the nest or another nest for you all comes along it will be the end of the marriage.
Lastly is love. Lets be blunt. Love from us is simply a feeling. Feelings do not keep a marriage together. If you don't love each other so what(another thing the pastor said)? It doesn't matter. feelings come and go.
Your marriage is a commitment. You both said till death. If you fall out of love that does not change your commitment to each other. It means you should work harder to find out how to complete your commitment. Never give up.
50% percent of marriages in the Baptist church ends in divorce. That means half of the people that God blessed gave up on that blessing(your husband/wife) when they were tired of it. I am at a loss for words. We have to do better to stop trying to rip apart what God has for us and to let it all work together. Bottom line people, If you say I do. Mean it. If not then never say it.
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2 comments:
I agree that those things are not enough. That is why its so very important to pray and make a wise decision. I married my best friend because I knew that once those loving "feelings" went away that I would still have someone that I loved being with. Also I think that the concept of love is messed up, the bible describes love not as a feeling but as a choice. Its something that is hard to do and yet is commanded of us.
1 Corinthians 13 says that love is patient, kind,doesnt envy, doesnt boast, is not proud, is not rude, is not self seeking, not easily angered and keeps no records of wrong. Love does not delight in evil things but rejoices with the truth, it always protects,always trust, always hopes, always persevers. Love never fails.
This is a high order for what Love is.. and most people can not do it actually no one can outside of God helping them to. This is the kind of love that we need to have with our spouse and this is what a marriage is based on..after being foundationally laid on God. God when he is the center of the union and in the lives of those that are vowing to stay together till death, is going to help keep that marriage together. Once you are married and are so in the will of God then it is never God's will to have them divorce. that is why its so important to make sure you are truly in Gods will before marrying someone.
I really enjoyed your blog though and just wanted to comment. Have a blessed day.
~Joy~
What you say is true. The problem is that we think of love as an emotion, feeling we have for someone. This is why we say things like, "fall in love", "in love with you", and I have even heard some say, "I love him, but am in love with them". What?
We need to realize that love is an action also based not necessarily on emotion. My spouse may have made me very upset last night, but that does not mean, because my emotions are different toward her now, that I should not act the love towards her that Christ has commanded husbands to love our wives as Christ loves the Church. Chirst does not love the Church because we are perfect, but because He wants to and portrays that love in continual acts toward us.
I like what you said in, "Looks change and you perception of how people look changes." What happens as we date is that we see these "great" people that no one can tells us their faults. Then we get married and we see "terrible" people and no one can tells us their good qualities.
If we pray and work towards our duties by God towards our spouse, more often than we just sit around thinking of all the tiny little problems "they" have (not thinking of our own), we would be a lot better off.
Good topics, worth being read by Christians. Thanks. I will be adding you to my side bar links.
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